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Can’t Get A Date? 10 Things to do if You Are in a Dating Dry Spell,More From Thought Catalog

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By Sarah Madaus. By Malia Griggs. By Maggie O'Neill, M. As we chatted—we had been introduced through a mutual friend—I noticed how different I felt. I was relaxed. My mind was in the present, not imagining the freesia-bedecked wedding we might have in the future. And it felt awesome. Could this man have become my future husband?

But I was a lot more interested in getting to know who he was right now. I just wanted to enjoy the evening. And I did. When I see him around the neighborhood, we say hi, which is a huge difference than how I experienced first dates in my twenties.

And what I realized was that, even though my dating hiatus had felt forced upon me due to life circumstances, it was one of the best things to happen in my life. I wanted to join more dating sites , go on more first dates, and meet more men, all in the hopes that the more people I met, the better odds I had at meeting the right person. But instead, the more more more approach had the opposite effect. I was too busy to get to know anyone, was always focused on the matches and stories and nights blocked out on my calendar to have any room to let one particular person stand out.

Running into the coffee shop dude—who, in the course of our catch-up conversation, mentioned he was seriously dating someone—had made that clear. Now, my daughter is 2. I take my time to get to know the people I date, and look at the evening much more as a chance to connect with another adult than a chance to meet someone who might be my perfect match.

Before, I had dated so much because I thought something was missing from my life. It took taking dating away to realize I was okay without it.

It goes back to the memory thing: While I may not have remembered details about certain guys, my memory had definitely locked down some dating opinions as truths. I had thought more was better when it came to dating. I had thought that experience trumped personality. And I had thought that I needed a man in my life. Getting out of the habit of dating allowed me to take these so-called truths and parse them out, eventually realizing that they weren't true, and they hadn't served me well.

Go yourself! I love going to museums by myself. I love the smell of food, the productivity and sense of accomplishment I get when I cook.

It makes me feel really good to cook healthy, delicious recipes! But if you are in a dry spell, you have time! Cooking brings joy. Try it! Want to get really knowledgeable in a very short period of time?

Minimal reading of the newspaper print or online will do that for you. It really becomes addicting, and gets your mind off men, and on important, interesting issues. I always feel so much better when I clean out even one drawer or closet. It makes me feel organized, and it makes me like where I live more. Try one thing every week. By the time your dry spell is over, you will be loving your house. No airfares and not much pre-planning are needed for a road trip.

But, they can turn out to be just as much fun, or just as relaxing as a trip to Mexico. Go online and find some attractions that are within a couple hours of where you live. Grab a friend and spend the night. Or go alone. A getaway is a great recharge. Then, one day, you meet someone. You just do. A month later he might turn out to be a jerk, but at least you are back in the swing of things, because usually when you meet someone, you meet someone else, and your dry spell has ended.

They are all part of life. Sign up for the Divorced Girl Smiling newsletter to get weekly articles on divorce and dating.

Want Financial Security after Divorce? Keeping the House in a Divorce: Your Options. How Does Mediation Work? A Step-by-Step Process.

Going Through a Divorce? Names You Need and Why. Honey, I Want A Divorce: When A Woman Decides to Leave. What It Is Like To Fall In Love After 50?

My Husband Left Me For Another Woman. Guess What? How To Survive Divorce: 15 Tips To Getting Through It. The Vindictive Ex: When Hate Comes Before Children. My Ex Moved On Immediately: 3 Seconds After We Got Separated In Fact. Marriage and Second Marriage Advice. Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app. Never let yourself pay for sex. Lower you standards.

Change your environment. Bad logistics could be holding you back. Do you live in a small town? Move out or take trips to larger cities. Do you work 80 hours a week? Take an evening or two off work to go out and meet women. Change your game. Those chapters grounded me and took me back to some basics about masculinity.

I promptly got laid that night. Change your style. Keep you masculine style classic and timeless. Avoid fads. Change your attitude. Unless that reading is followed by action, of course Action is not preparing to take action. Thats the attitude you need.

Response in the for of massive action. Embrace online dating—or the opposite. Get a mentor. Be More Sexy Dry Spell Dry Spells Having Sex Sex Sex and Love Sex and Relationships. More From Thought Catalog. Loving Yourself First When Having Eczema.

Best Hookup Sites: Top 30 Free Hookup Apps for Hooking Up in Best Cam Sites In With Live Adult Cams Featuring Top Cam Girls Online.

By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author. So does a drought, a snowstorm, a hurricane, or even an earthquake. Guess what? So does a dating dry spell! I know this from experience. All my old boyfriends seemed blissfully happy and off the market, and even my ex moved on and was in love. These times were really depressing and lonely, and I felt unattractive, alone and non-desirable.

Looking back, I wish I could have just learned to enjoy my life during these times. I should have been taking advantage of all the free time I had not worrying about a guy or not having a guy. Once you get into a book and you love it, you will want to read more and more and more. And before you know it, you feel smarter, and more worldly, and more interesting and deeper as a person.

Then, when you meet someone, you will be well read, which is a very attractive quality. Writing works for me, but I just happen to be a writer. Journaling, or writing poetry or short stories can really put a smile on your face, or make you cry in a good way, or help you heal. Expressing yourself can never be a bad thing, and writing brings a feeling of productivity which is great for self-esteem.

You have the time, so why not? There is nothing more fulfilling and no better way to obtain self-love than through volunteer work.

Find a cause that you love and put your heart into it. You will fall in love with it, and with yourself for your hard work and dedication. This is a great game that involves skill, concentration, and beautiful scenery.

Great way to meet men, too! I recently fell in love with golf. Go yourself! I love going to museums by myself. I love the smell of food, the productivity and sense of accomplishment I get when I cook. It makes me feel really good to cook healthy, delicious recipes!

But if you are in a dry spell, you have time! Cooking brings joy. Try it! Want to get really knowledgeable in a very short period of time? Minimal reading of the newspaper print or online will do that for you. It really becomes addicting, and gets your mind off men, and on important, interesting issues.

I always feel so much better when I clean out even one drawer or closet. It makes me feel organized, and it makes me like where I live more. Try one thing every week. By the time your dry spell is over, you will be loving your house. No airfares and not much pre-planning are needed for a road trip.

But, they can turn out to be just as much fun, or just as relaxing as a trip to Mexico. Go online and find some attractions that are within a couple hours of where you live.

Grab a friend and spend the night. Or go alone. A getaway is a great recharge. Then, one day, you meet someone. You just do. A month later he might turn out to be a jerk, but at least you are back in the swing of things, because usually when you meet someone, you meet someone else, and your dry spell has ended.

They are all part of life. Sign up for the Divorced Girl Smiling newsletter to get weekly articles on divorce and dating. Want Financial Security after Divorce? Keeping the House in a Divorce: Your Options. How Does Mediation Work? A Step-by-Step Process. Going Through a Divorce? Names You Need and Why. Honey, I Want A Divorce: When A Woman Decides to Leave.

What It Is Like To Fall In Love After 50? My Husband Left Me For Another Woman. Guess What? How To Survive Divorce: 15 Tips To Getting Through It.

The Vindictive Ex: When Hate Comes Before Children. My Ex Moved On Immediately: 3 Seconds After We Got Separated In Fact. Marriage and Second Marriage Advice. Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, the site, the podcast and the app.

A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University. How about focusing your energy on your career? I NEVER would have thought that I had the skills, market-ability and stamina to capture a cool, high tech job, with really fun, smart people!

And learn, improve my skills, and have days where I am having too much fun with my job to think about a boyfriend, partner or spouse! When I am feeling the bluesy loneliness after a 27 year marriage, I increase the amount of time I spend on self-improvement…it NEVER goes unnoticed or without some form of dopamine uptake!

You are so right. I am sorry I left this one off the list! I feel the exact same way, and i think that nothing brings more self-esteem than passion for your career!

thank you! Your email address will not be published. Your Divorce Preparation Checklist is Here. Will and Trust Documents After Divorce: What You Need to Know. How to Deal With Anger and Rage During Divorce. Be strong and be authentic, and you will have a beautiful life ahead of you. Follow me on. Want to view Divorced Girl Smiling trusted partners? Trusted Partners. Want to listen to the DGS podcast? DGS Podcast. Want to download the DGS mobile app? DGS Mobile App. WRITE: Writing works for me, but I just happen to be a writer.

Get involved in a cause you believe in: There is nothing more fulfilling and no better way to obtain self-love than through volunteer work. Take up golf: This is a great game that involves skill, concentration, and beautiful scenery. Make three new recipes every week: I love the smell of food, the productivity and sense of accomplishment I get when I cook. Start reading the newspaper or online news every day for 30 minutes: Want to get really knowledgeable in a very short period of time?

Reorganize your house: I always feel so much better when I clean out even one drawer or closet. Take a road trip: No airfares and not much pre-planning are needed for a road trip. Like this article? Sign up. Share Facebook Tweet Gmail LinkedIn.

Featured Expert Articles Jackie Pilossoph Creator, Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling 20 Things I Wish I Could Have Told My Newly Separated Self. Elaine Koby Moss and Peter J.

10 Surefire Ways To Break Yourself Out Of A ‘Dry Spell’,

AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now!Usually, the online dating sites that require a more thorough signup process and Zoosk - Best Dating Site - $/month · Match - Best for romance - $/month AdCreate an Online Dating Profile for Free! Only Pay When You Want More Features! Make a Free Dating Site Profile! Only Pay When You're Ready to Start Communicating! Ad88% Of Our Users Are Ukraine Ladies Looking For Love. Voted #1 Niche Dating Site. Finding Love, Made Simple. Results Focused Dating - Trusted Since Click To Join Free ... read more

Take an evening or two off work to go out and meet women. Or go alone. I had thought more was better when it came to dating. But, they can turn out to be just as much fun, or just as relaxing as a trip to Mexico. By Jackie Pilossoph, Creator and Editor-in-chief, Divorced Girl Smiling site, podcast and app, Love Essentially columnist and author. Your dry spell could be a result of something as simple as buying into a fad.

Kids, Coparenting and Single Parents. Embrace online dating—or the opposite. Elaine Koby Moss and Peter J. It took taking dating away to realize I was okay without it. But that was exactly the problem. I remember one of my particularly long dry streaks.

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